Yesterday Jason was rolling around on the floor giggling at a meme  that apparently perfectly describes me. He thought it was so hilarious, that in his attempt to point and laugh at my face, he kept unplugging his monitor, which meant that by the time he finally spun it around to show me, he’d hyped it up so much. Cue, man on computer saying, ‘I’m glad I can finally get off my computer and go to bed,’ followed by same man, in bed, ‘scroll, scroll’ ing on his phone. I’m sure it’s not just me who does this, but I do feel like, if it’s worth laughing at, that it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing.


The thing is, I do work better at night. Before I had clients with regular hours, I was anything but good at routine. I still struggle to get up before lunch time. While Jason’s fidgeting, I lie awake doing illustrations, from start to finish in my head. I also redecorate the house, design elaborate dresses, organize closets and take photos. And then, I remember something I saw online that inspired me, and I feel compelled to find it. I’m a compulsive Googler. There should be an anon group for that. I don’t think I could live without it. If I was stranded on a desert island, I’d never be content with my own thoughts. Do dolphins really grow arms in the womb before they grow fins? Must look it up. What can I make with coconut skin? Must look it up. Why is this dessert island sand red? Must look it up. And so it goes on. In fact, I now feel the urge to find out all these things, just in case!

I’m not sure if you remember the stone age, before computers? I do. I simply can’t understand how we functioned without them. I’m sure, if you were there, you’d have had encyclopaedias  like we did. Our’s were a little out of date, even then. Pluto was still a planet. Mars was water free until 2003 (actually they discovered water on Mars in 2004, but it rhymes so…). And perhaps the Earth was still considered flat. Perhaps not. I’m sure I could Google that.

And maybe, if you didn’t have encyclopaedias, you went to the library, which I also did. Maybe you still do, but I certainly don’t. In order to get a book from a local library here, I need to prove my entire existence.  They require a copy for my identification, a rates bill and the erf number for my house, in case I run away and never return. When did borrowing a book become so difficult? Surely, they’d be thrilled to have people milling around, educating themselves, reading great novels, especially since my Gran (library goer) now knows how to send text messages, and will next week know how to download a Kindle book? You’re going to lose her. I mean, you’ll know where she lives, but she won’t need you any more.

If you could go back, and choose to live in a universe full of books, but no Google, would you?